Monday, 7 November 2011

Still Waiting..

A huge lesson that infertility or any "out-of-ordinary" situation teaches you is "patience"..In my last post I talked about how I expected my period early. Well, its still nowhere in sight. We have to plan our trip based on the day when my AF arrives, so everything is on hold, our travel plans, packing and life in general till AF shows up!

I have been keeping myself busy with "not so important" things around the house and work in general. Though I dunno why but I am particularly avoiding an annoying lady who is the mother of one of our good friends. I somehow feel she doesn't like me. Or maybe she has come to know from her daughter (my friend) that we are having trouble conceiving on our own and maybe that has made her "not like" me anymore. Or maybe all this is just in my head. Anyway I cannot stand her! Somehow the last time we met, my friend was expecting and she kept pestering me with the "when are you planning" question over and over again. When she visited our house, she asked me where do I pray?? The thing is my husband and I belong to different religious background. In India it is a big deal to follow your religious customs and prayers and most families have rituals that are done by every member of the family either together or individually. At the very least, we all say our prayers before leaving home and/or in the evening around sunset. In our house, I have a small shelf where I have kept the idols from my religion but in the main prayer room, we have idols only from my husband's faith. I am ok with this arrangement since in my religion our idols should not be kept in the open, while in his, it is ok! Also, his parents visit more often than mine and we all like to pray together in the prayer room. When my parents visit, they are ok with praying anywhere (our religion is not very strongly associated with Idol worship). So well, for us this arrangement works great!! 

She, on the other hand, an outsider, is curious about how we work things out when it comes to religious practices. I got a little annoyed at her being soo curious about things that she has nothing to do with.

I let that pass. However, this time around when we went to see her at our friends place, i felt like she was avoiding me and wasn't being as friendly as she used to be. Maybe she found out and maybe she is going to tell her daughter to stay away or keep her kid away from me or some crap like that. I don't know and I don't want to know. Its just that when people start learning things, they start looking out for their own rather than comforting those who need it. Guess this is the way it works! It doesn't bother me so much, but I would not want to entertain them or get involved with our friends while she is around. So when they invited us for dinner this evening, I just asked my husband to tell them we won't make it. I have enough things to deal with right now and I don't won't to worry about some strange lady forming an opinion about me or judging me!

Again, I sometimes feel this is in my head and maybe I should not let all this get to me. Maybe she's fine and I AM NOT. I don't know. But like I said, maybe I just want to avoid awkward moments in my life. The lesser the better!!

P.S I finally got listed on Melissa's blogroll (or the Stirrup Queen's Completely Anal List of Blogs That Proves That She Really Missed Her Calling as a Personal Organizer, as she calls it) Thanks a ton Melissa!!

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